Walking down the street with a smile, a smile for no reason...

Fell in love?

I'm not the same as at the beginning of a relationship, and yet, it's still me.


After years and years, after contacts and relatinships…any relationship for itself, each relationship with a lot of good and with a lot of that what's not so good. Each new partner for me was as the first one, any old relationship as another dash on the tree of my life. Always the same, than again, as it has never been. I see myself, somehow I'm not the same as at the beginning of a relationship, and yet, it's still me.

It's visible!

You float in the clouds at the beginning, with opened chest you can hardly wait to see him. Everything he does is divine, everything what we do together is ecstasy. There's no thing the two of us together cann't admire to. You see the world through his eyes, rejoice when he rejoices, suffer when he suffers aswell. You feel as if all this is your life. Infact, that is your life. For some of us for a few months, for some even for several years.

And then suddenly you see where this occurred. How like your relationship now looks. How could it happen again? And you want to fell in love... you know that it existed. You walk around the city and see that it exists also now, in the park on a bench or in a small patisserie on the coast... Yes, you remember the enthusiasm, you remember the ease, simplicity and peace of mind... when you breathe freely, walked down the street with a smile, a smile for no reason. Can you connect now with it? You felt the spring, you heard the birds, you caressed the flowers, lifted the gaze to the sky. You were looking forward to the things you don't notice now at all, you felt the things that you may not even feel now…as if you had another eyes, another hearing. But it was you. As a full battery...as a fragrant lily or a big orange sun falling under the horizon. The fullness and plenty, it just goes, you cann't stop it. It's visible. When I fell in love, in the final year of my studies in one of my previous biggest lovers, my professors in college noticed that. You cann't hide this! And when he returned his love to me.... I whitstanded for days with so little sleeping. With very little amount of food. Only with few words. Fullness of soul, a huge warm soul that gives...everything else is superfluous, and thoughts about everything else become too heavy and just disappear.

And how is it possible to forget what makes us so happy?

And then once again you live in your own world from day to day, working, controling, now and then enjoying on the weekends, sometimes you feel – 'Yes, I know who I am and what I am, and I know where to go'..then the day after you have a sense of – 'Life goes by, I'm wasting my time, I don't know what to do, am I doing it well, how can I know? Oh God, how I'll manage all the things which my life intended for me?' When you're in love, you don't have these thoughts. And if you have them, a positive attitude prevails, you sail on a positive energy. Then you aren't angry, or only in an extreme situation..and all of a sudden you have no more need to criticize people, and you don't need to prove your attitudes any more. Crazy...but, yes, that is. You totally don't care, because your heart is full. Why do we forget this? And how is it possible to forget what makes us so happy? How can it dissapear? The wind blowed out the cloud of magic in our heart, slammed the door and raised up the dust in the temple of our personality.

Otherwise I'm pretty realistic, exact type. I cann't believe in enything without evidence, I always drive out to the end, I use to love math and logic. The sequence and meaning. I cann't believe if I was in love once, that I'm not today. And if there was once something like a part of me and my personality, that this today doesn't exist or that it is blown away. Especially if it was good. When something is bad, then you are trying to remove it – you are doing this consciously. But something that nourished my soul and gave me an incredible amount of fuel, something that even my professors felt, because it was so nice also for them, I think it still exists.

Material and non material wealth

This is not a material wealth, and that's why it's a very cool thing, because nobody can steal it and it cann't dissapear.. it's another world. When you feel it more and more, and when you're discovering it, it becomes more realistic and more closer. There is, but you cann't see it with the eyes, as says The Little Prince (of A.de Saint Exupery) –

orig. Mais les yeux sont aveugles. Il faut chercher avec le cœur. (eng. But the eyes are blind. One must look with the heart.).

We habitually somehow always deal with those things when someone has left us or when we realized that our relationship collapsed..and exactly just when we're mostly fallen in love is the time to devote ourselves to it! Hic Rhodus, hic salta! To become aware of where's the trick. How to be in love always. And how we can be in love more, and to continually fall in love. Then the magic happens. Then also our sex is divine, then everything is divine.

We are so enamored with our material, physical level of reality and the laws that govern it, that we don't even see various other wonderful things happening in other levels of existance that affect exactly on our physical level, and enrich it. We begin to deal with other levels when we are hurt so much, and when it begins to interfere with our physical existence. And then we are fully aware that it exists, and that it's real, indeed, and slows us in our daily functioning.

And after all this time and attempts, after so much love, falling love, after youngs and olds, monogamous, polyamorous, heterosexual, homosexual and also bisexual, after the long and the short ones, after the illusion and the reality...and yet, still... As if we don't see what is in the grounds. The common denominator of all these beautiful states, all elation and prosperity that we carry in our soul.

We must look with the heart to overcome the material world

We cann't even see it when we look at it only with the eyes. What isn't visible with the eyes, no matter how hard we tried, we cann't see with the eyes. But it exists, and it's great...and it makes wonders. With the eyes we see the person. The love we can see with our heart, and exactly every time when we felt in love with someone, we fell in love with love. In love through him or her. Someone likes blonds, the other dark ones, someone likes quiet and shy, while otherone the loud and talkative, someone like one, others like many. We love the spark of love in exactly this person or persons, the spark of love that lifts my energy and blooms the lilys of my soul. But at the time this specific person has become more important for us, than love itself, comes the suffering and the cloud of falling in love becomes rarely. Than begin to rule the laws of material reality. It simply has nothing to do with that person. We fell in love and we love the love through him or her, and when this what we see whith our physical eyes and what we feel with our physical body becomes more important to us, than this what we see with the heart and feel with our soul - than we trip up over the others and our emotions... and we become aware that we made a mistake again, and that we were enchanted again, and that next time will be better and I guess we'll be smarter.. I guess because now we have finally learned?

Yeah...I guess we did..

Fell in love with love

And it's possible and it's big. We know how big it is, and how nourishes, how much fullfills the soul when we fell in love. We need no touch, we need no words. As if you fly... only when you remember him, just as you remember her.....her blink or his quiet smile.. and each one we remember by something..but the feeling is always the same. Cherish this feeling. The feeling is that, which makes us ecstatic, fallinig in love is a state that makes us so light. And so blessed. And thank to that person, thank to these people. They gave us the opportunity to fell in love. To fill our source. Something in them has awakened magical powers in us and we feel perfectly. We suddenly have a lot more of understanding, compassion and patience to every person we meet, even those which aren't our favorite ones. Fallen in love. Today, with this one, tomorrow with that one, once in love, may be constantly in love... if looks with the heart and feels with the soul.

Let's be an inspiration to the people, so they can full their sources. Let's be a spark of falling in love. Let's be fallen in love. Fallen in love with love. Like St. Francis of Assisi or Josip Pupačić. Love the essence of love through every person you meet on the path. And thankful that we can fell in love, more and again and always. The one who is fell in love with love always sees the love and always goes after it. And the outlook is somehow always the same, the image that the eyes see doesn't change. But fireworks of love inside…sparks of falling in love. Crazy. But known to all, and available to everybody.

Yes, fell in love, fell in love with love.