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Home | Sex, love and partnership | Love also in a decadence

Everyone can love, we can all love more

Love also in a decadence

Paul Auster

In the majority of Paul Auster´s novels can be felt senseless, rather the loss of a sense of purpose, communication failure, general disaster, and the absurd, a kind of fatal social non-future curtain, apocalyptic society without future, infinitely end. And yet he shows a completely ordinary daily life of characters with average abilities... How unbelievably Auster inbreathed love to them in these cruel times...

Recently I had a very nice conversation with one friend about Paul Auster and his work. We both read few of his novels. So far I haven't read any similar works. I found pretty interesting his intriguing stories and narration, the imagination and mind of this man, and his outlook on life…everything is happening like in other novels, but it's highly unusual. I must say I was quite inspired, although it doesn't seem such at first glance.

It is interesting to me mostly because in the majority of his novels can be felt senseless, rather the loss of a sense of purpose, communication failure, general disaster, and the absurd, a kind of fatal social non-future curtain, apocalyptic society without future, infinitely end. And yet he shows a completely ordinary daily life of characters with average abilities. The story takes place, there are dozens of characters, and they are all connected, and still their lives has no meaning, but it happens, and is not complete depression. Some peculiar life.

When I think about his novel In the Country of Last Things (original In the Country of Last Things, Paul Auster, 1987) parrallel images come bubbling, in one side he describes our common everyday life, but on the other I feel that it's his vision of a futuristic post apocalyptic society, everything is so real, but still invented ... too far from us. I'm really so inspired with this Auster guy, cause he is so close, and yet so abstract!

The main character is a woman Anna Blume, maybe that's why this multi-layered story touches me even more. I feel her incredible passion for life, for survival, while the novel is about to decay, disappearance .. the last things. As if she didn't see those terrible images that surround her. She lives her life the best she can in an environment where she happend to be located. She prospers in the trash, broke and homeless, indeed, and she enterprises with garbage. And she is good, giving to others. As far as cold and loosen can Auster's language be at the moments, I feel great emotional strenghth, and no matter how harsh the conditions are, corpses and death everywhere, I feel deep, fine emotions in the figure of Anna, without which she would never be able to achieve what she achieves. And Anna remains in peace with all the possible troubles that surround her, she follows her target. She has an idea, she is carried by the idea. In this environment, and social conditions, noble, lofty idea, in this case the fruit of Auster's imagination, can carry. Can overcome the greatest external obstacle, based on higher order. And she perceives that these troubled and difficult images in front of her eyes, are only a few events to which she responds because they take place in her surroundings. So she can do, help and give the best she could with minimal loss of energy, that the result was always her inner peace and recollection, and that she could be able to keep smoothly moving towards her goal.

Where from we react on the outer scenario?
It is clear that all these activities of surviving in given circumstances can cause a range of responses, because this (our) body has different needs and on different ways each of us reacts to an accident, or an unexpected or 'worse' scenario than we had planned. But it is important what we want, where we 'allow' our minds to stop, with what we 'deal' our mind. It would literally mean to me, that there, where is the end of Anna's citizens, at this point, Anna begins. Just because the fact that this what's to them the most basic thing in life, survival, it is only incidentally for her, and she is more successful in this, and more capable than they are. I am also touched with the heterosexual relationship between Anna and Sam, then with a homosexual relationship of Anna and Victoria, which was interpreted as a 'help' for Anna to recover from the break with Sam. These connections and relationships between characters in erotic love plan (if at all could have used this term when writing about such a book), for me, perfectly fit into the story.

They love each other, because to love is always possible
…and they are happy
How unbelievably Auster inbreathed love to them in these cruel times. In all this chaos, surviving, sleeping, eating, hiding from enemies, earning, than searching for her brother,
defending from evil people, feeling is now the time for action or for resting in peace, she falls in love with a man .... And when it ends, when she gets disappointed, the chaos continues, the battle for life continues soughing .. and she falls in love again, this time with a woman.
When you leave space for love, it will happen. When you don't forget it, when you feed it, although it's the most difficult time and it looks like there is no chance, because every moment you can die, it will happen. Notwithstanding the heavy brutal descriptions, I have a feeling that these characters really enjoy. They love each other, because to love is always possible, and they are happy. It doesn't require any house nor property or sunny forecast nor secured future. Love is here, regardless of the circumstances ... it's there for those who see and those who worship love, and whose lives exist so that love could exist.

Soul survival
In this book, Anna describes her existential struggle for survival, and all this on a physical level. But between the lines, Iread the soul survival. I feel as if she fights for her soul life, soul food, while actually struggling to sell some old shoes or burnt remains of the dumps so that she can provide money for food. Our today's life is on the one side very similar to Anna's in her country of last things – just in the accumulation and existential sense, while on the other side is totally the opposite – just because we live in the entire abundance. But when a person lives for love, and if he/she realizes through time what kind of vibration and 'condition' it is, and if he/she 'allows' to himselve/herselve to be carried through life by love, then we all in fact, become Anna Blume. Our environment, our living conditions then become just a part of the scenario.

Love is somewhere high above all our feelings and possession of…and a passion for this or that…
When each of our goal is subgoal of life in love, and when every our action becomes an act of love, and when it is as long and as passionately as when we are fighting for our life or the life of our child …Then fades away feeling that we have hard life, that we must fight, that we are suppressed, that it easier to all others than to us or that we are deprived of something what was given to another. As physically, emotionally, mentally, sexually, at any level, the one where we mostly are and in which we are aware. Disappear the difficultness and depression, apathy and decadence that permeates this story partially. I really have the feeling that Anna, despite not being human terms, does everything with ease. As she 'does' some ordinary task. How is her life difficult, and how she does it gently. Because love is somewhere high above all our feelings and possession of, and passion for this or that object or a person, characteristics or abilities. And all these things, people, properties and assets, sex, power ... for which we desire so much, or for which we yearn so much, or we miss them very ... have no sense, or quickly loose their meaning, if there is no love. Love adds a shine to all, and it's so easy.

Everything is meaningless without the spell of love…
Long, too long we need to understand this. And when we realize it, usually we get scared because it looks at the moment as we live in Anna's country of last things. As if there's nothing, and even that what it is, is the last, and after that – no more nothing. We die of fear at the end instead that we die for love from the beginning. That what we carry inside, this holy love spell has incredible power. When all the external factors dissapear, everything which gives us the ability to go further and that raises us up, is our inerness, our soulness. How many times Anna was on the edge, at the end! The entire novel is about the end, but her life is more and more rich, and her soul is more fulfilled. So the only thing that we actually have at this stage of consciousness is our innerness, what is at the moment irremovable. It cann't be removed, nor can disappear, we can just change it and make it always in the service of love. Then began our inner, soul creation and disappear all the fascination, or pain, delight or disappointment with external creation.
Oh, yes, I know, it's clear that the person who increasingly feels own innerness, and builds own soul, feels more and more from outside, and it just hurts it more and when happens a
life situation like Anna's, it feels no longer just its own pain, but it starts ache and pain of people in immediate and wider environment. It's equally with joy, a person of great heart and rich soul, naturally looks forward with anyone who is happy. Certanly it hurted her, it hurted so much, that the only thing she could still do – is to devote herself more and more to the love, to found more strength to move forward.

Obstacle or opportunity?

Then the difficultness changes to ease. And any form of externaly hard life becomes easy from the inside. Each new obstacle provides another opportunity for growth in love. Then this is no longer an obstacle ... Only Life is going, and Love happens. And that's the point where is the end of her citizens, and just the beggining for her. While they writhe around feeding, she lives for love, and her survival as it comes only that from... because from the 'outside' it all seems the same, she does all what others do... As if she generates some inexplicable, intangible forces. It looks a bit as a life itself opens and submits to the one who goes for the ideal of love. Is this possible? And why is it so difficult? Why are we always racked with some worries? I think Auster also sneers a bit to the modern society with such fatal micro-apocalyptic society in the novel, so that we could see how good it actually is. How little we actually need, and where are we in all this. And how we turned out from ourselves .. we are out there in the outside world, and inside we aren't. How much concern about the external, and life is for real going on in our inner being.

Love is in each one of us…but how much space we give to the love, how much it lives through us?
I'm also a little bit ashamed when I see how Anna struggles in the mud and trash, while I complain in plenty. Anna is just one character in a novel, written by one of my favourite writers, there are examples as much as the living people, in all social layers and on all continents. Every civilization and culture from its roots up to its scope. Love is in each one of us, the question is just how much space we give to the love, how much it lives through us. It's a common language to all of us, the language of our souls. Everyone can love, we can all love more. We all can love the Love. And we can all try. It's free, and naturally inherented, we 'got' it by our birth. Of all the things we learn and those tons of information, as it turns out that we forget what we are naturally 'learned' by birth. All of our 'external' abilities have 'inside' roots, and it all starts from the soul, from our inner self. All what happens 'out there' would not have existed if there wouldn't be our innerness, and even if 'the out there' would existed, we wouldn't notice it nor respond, because we wouldn't have whereby. We react from within, and flee from the innerness.

Love is a common language to all of us, the language of our souls
We can develop any capacity, we can work on our inner being and build on it to serve us and to motivates us, makes us easier and softens our lives, not to stumble on it due to any external event.

Everyone can love, we can all love more
Do we try enough in order to be truly happy? Do we turn up to the source of fulfillment and achievement in this world? Do we encourage life in ourselves and others, do we invest in our own inner source? Do we love the Love? That from which we draw up the most, we should cherish the most. Can we?

To love is to execute

said Victor Hugo.