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Home | Sex, love and partnership | Chemistry of Connection

Love and spirit

Chemistry of Connection

"Look at every path closely and deliberately, then ask ourselves this crucial question: Does this path have a heart? If it does, then the path is good. If it doesn't, it is of no use." – Carlos Castaneda

If you are anything like me, even just a mention of words: love, sex & spirit will inspire the motion of the magic potion of Oxytocin (Greek: ōkytokínē, meaning ‘quick birth’) in your brain.

Join the crowd of all of us, mortals, artists, poets, spiritual teachers, singers, all, that try their very best to understand this amazing mix that keeps our eyes sparkling, our hearts warm, and our relationships healthy.

Applying the law of attraction (you will attract into your life whatever you focus on) to the subject of spiritual relationship, we all dream to move into a space of abundance of love, abundance of passion and abundance of understanding. However, we are so heavily conditioned by the concept of soul-mates and tied within ferry-tales subconscious chains that we find it difficult to clearly observe love, and the above drive somehow manages to escape our focus and sometimes even manages to miss our lives.

So, if exploring relationships as a spiritual path is your quest too, let’s together try to unveil Venus and gain some more insights into her enchantment. Let’s look at her purely scientifically, observing the chemical changes that occur within our bodies while we love or are in love, let’s have a quick glance at the studies that explore the laboratory of our brain.

Let us first meet Oxytocin, a hormone and neurotransmitter, also known as the ‘love hormone’. Oxytocin is linked to the feelings of love, empathy, and connection to others, it makes us feel content, it encourages human bonding, and trust. The primary conscious behaviour that increases oxytocin is caring for another.

In 2003, a study showed that oxytocin levels in the blood increases after a session of cuddling; oxytocin is involved in the initiation of maternal behaviour inducing labour and milk ejection; oxytocin spikes up just after an orgasm and it actually causes spontaneous erections in rats. So it is no wonder that after making love, with the level of oxytocin in our blood, we believe we can not live without our partner, we bond with him/her, and we have cravings for the person.

We all form similar deep connections with our loved ones. Oxytocin is the chemical reason behind the love induced behaviours, but it also shapes our health and our happiness - it is said that people with pets tend to recover more quickly from illness, that married people tend to live longer, that love can heal drugs addictions...

Falling in love calls forth a mix of neuro-chemicals, including oxytocin's bonding effects. Falling in love also calls forth the Lady Lust that is our craving for sex.

A study of brain activity in 2000 examined students that were madly in love scanning their brains. The interesting finding was that ‘love’, in its euphoria, uses the same neural mechanisms activated during taking drugs. Remember, those feelings of excitement, butterflies in your stomach, the intrusive & somewhat obsessive thoughts about the loved ones... Some analysts suggests that the actual behavioural patterns of those ‘in love’ resemble obsessive compulsive disorder :)

The mix of chemicals responsible for this turmoil includes increases in the levels of serotonin, and oxytocin.

Love and falling in love are independent mechanisms and can work independently or simultaneously. It is no news that a human can have a loving and understanding relationship with his long-term partner, while feeling lust or romantic love for someone else. Most people act this scenario with a heap of confusion, jealousy, and adultery that leads to divorce.

A normal relationship pattern is for couples to fall in love, get together, promise they will love each other forever, and after 5-10 years end up getting bored of each other. Unfortunately, over time, the roller coaster of highs and lows of a relationship creates a distance between partners. Our obsession with day-to-day worries makes us forget the magic of oxytocin.

Love, sexual, spiritual energy is an amazingly precious energy and with its proper use we can enter the space of inner peace, passionate creativity, sparkling health, and life balance. Oxytocin is nature's most precious drug that actually shapes how we view the world. The more we spread love and connect with our surroundings, the more responsive our body and brain becomes to it.

So what do you think, what is the recipe for producing more oxytocin? My main guess would be: let’s train love... let’s exercise carrying... let’s fall in love, every day, with Life... And yours?






+2 #1 Zorica 2012-01-25 07:25
So well explained and very informative. Your article have given me more awareness.,to what is going on..why is going on and how to go on!
First tool I'll use each time given the opportunity is the cuddle:)
Thank you!