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Home | Sex, love and partnership | Poly-amorous relationship

I didn’t choose poly-amorous as a way of living, polyamory chose me!

Poly-amorous relationship


These days I have a Poly-amorous Manifesto stuck on the notice board of my kitchen – so who ever becomes a little bit more familiar with my place and is promoted to a higher status than just an acquaintance, will reach my kitchen and read what I believe is the best possible way of living love.

But let this be clear from the very beginning of this article, I didn’t choose poly-amorous as a way of living, polyamory chose me.  Today I see clearly that there is no other way to live a healthy, fulfilling love-erotic relationship than within a poly-amorous relationship – but it was not always like this.

Princes and Princesses that live together in-love in a monogamous relationship were a part of my conscious and subconscious make-up from my early childhood.  I have also read and re-read all the fairytales that stupendously push and shove into our minds and down our throats the one and only truth that is acceptable to good-living-obeying Christians – the truth of the monogamous tale.   Following the motion of ‘only one love forever’, I have also tried on a number of occasions to truthfully live this scenario as my reality, and have failed each time.

At the beginning, I needed to find the Right One and this was not that easy.  He needed to fulfil a set of criteria that is as long as anybody else’s list – he needed to be loving, kind, clever, sexy, humorous, strong, soft, subtle and good with people and with children, and the most importantly crazily in love with me – of course, I also needed to be his one and only Princess.  After many, many years and a number of monogamous attempts that finished with – if only he was a little bit cleverer or a little bit more perfect or if only the circumstances were a little bit more right, our relationship would have surely succeeded - a man of my dreams appeared!

It was it!  There was no doubt.  He was in front of me.  We had the amazing luck to materialise on Earth at the same time being opposite sexes and surrounded with the circumstances that were perfect for our merge – I mean completely perfect – he was not married or fucked-up or with the huge baggage that often comes with something you thought is perfect – he was my truly and only Prince.  He even had a white horse (he drove a white car he called Peggi Sue – a name that he playfully derived from Pegasus - the mythological winged horse, son of Poseidon).

ImageSo, here he was, my Greek twin – originally Zeus split the lovers in half, condemning them to spend their lives searching for the other half - a twin flame soul that completes the story of two halves of one joined soul, a magnetic polar opposite with whom I had an instant connection and understanding and instant attraction, a soul mate that felt like my mirror image.  When we were together, and that was virtually all the time, everything seemed in balance. Our souls were learning things in similar ways, we liked the same things, we read each others minds, we were moving in the same direction, and had a deepest possible spiritual connection.  All of us, me and him, and our friends and our families, and people we met coincidentally knew this as our truth from the very moment they met us – we were made for each other.

Some of you who have already lived this scenario, know exactly what the end of this story is, and some of you who still dream of meeting the One who will fulfil your monogamous fairytale dreams will suspect the end and will rush to say - perhaps this was just your illusion, perhaps he didn’t feel the same, perhaps he was not the One or perhaps we were not mature enough or perhaps and perhaps…  No, my dear all, both of us will tell you the story in the exact same way and I say this now, even though I know that to believe me you will need to experience it on your own skin - trust me, if the monogamous relationship is possible, the two of us would have made it – we had all the right ingredients.

And yes, as you suspect, after 5 years of living tremendous love, he fell in love with our best friend who also wanted to live a fulfilled monogamous relationship and he left me to go and try living this dream with her.  The sexual impulse between the two of us was not at its highest (and those who have experienced a long term relationship will know that this happens in 99,99% of cases) and between the two newly discovered lovers was at its peak.  And you also might suspect the continuation of his story – he is now on his 51st girlfriend still searching for the right One - unable to find…

For me, after this experience, the choice was clear – I will either continue this endless search and keep circling the same circle of successive monogamy (I got exhausted doing it in the last 12 years of living monogamy), I will start lying and cheating my partners with some sexy hunks that come along every now and then (couldn’t do it – couldn’t forget my spiritual principles of honesty and truthfulness) or plunge into the new world of poly-amorous ways of loving and living.

This is how the Poly-amorous manifesto ended on my kitchen notice board…

Note by ‘my second half’: This article was reviewed by the man in question – who confirms its accuracy and truthfulness.